So, this the issue that finally got somebody on campus motivated enough to spread flyers and signs in an attempt to effect change. While on some level I'm glad that somebody at UCSD cares enough to do anything, I had hoped that the trigger would have been, like, something important? Y'know, something that's, like, political or actually significant or whatever. Y'know?

Hell, whoever it was that put these things together could have at least made the smaller flyers simple and readable. I doubt many people are going to be stopping on crowded and rushed pathways to read some text about the usage of "like."

We procured an eye-witness description of the stabbing that occurred in line at Sungod. In true Ghetto Journalism style, here is the AIM conversation that landed in our inbox a couple days ago:

anonymous: i'm standing in line, and i see an argument about three people in front of me
anonymous: this one guy (call him tom) has tried to cut in line
anonymous: since the line is so obscenely long
anonymous: and this other guy (call him john) is pissed
anonymous: so, john starts yelling at tom
anonymous: tom yells back
anonymous: john shoves tom
anonymous: tom shoves john back
anonymous: much macho chest-to-chest posturing occurs
anonymous: then, john throws a blow
anonymous: a really sissy, weak, looping, would make anyone who actually knows how to fight cringe in disgust sort of blow
anonymous: tom throws a flurry of punches (of similar quality) back at john
anonymous: and then john stabs tom
anonymous: quickly, through tom's sweatshirt
anonymous: he stabs him in the upper chest, so it doesnt go in deep
anonymous: ribcage is in the way
anonymous: as far as stabbings go, really, its pretty weak
anonymous: tom's friends pull him away, and he leaves
anonymous: the crowd that had gathered to watch the fight disperses
anonymous: i advance in line
anonymous: few minutes later
anonymous: security is yelling
anonymous: trying to find tom
anonymous: tom comes up to the fence
anonymous: and says, "man, i just got stabbed"
anonymous: pretty nonchalant about it, though
anonymous: police take him away (for questioning and a ride to the hospital, i assume)

We'll leave it up to your judgment to ascertain the veracity of this story.

Some of you may be asking, "What stabbing?" Good question. The Guardian did not mention the incident in their long, monotonous Lights and Sirens, and has refrained from reporting it otherwise—despite knowledge of the scuffle. Anyone know why?

As I type this there's a small yet determined group of religious fundamentalists on Library Walk. Two of them are holding aloft a slipshod laminated banner proclaiming homosexuality to be a sin – these are the guys that everybody is yelling at. The poor folks who were left with the over-dramatic pictures of aborted fetuses sitting on American currency were being ignored, half-heartedly trying to engage passerby in "discussions" of abortion even though their debate tactics consist of "hay guys look at this gross picture!" I didn't have the heart to tell them that they air open-heart surgery and shit on television now, and that gross pictures do not an argument make. They seemed proud of their little posterboard aborted fetus craft projects, and I didn't want to take that away from them.

Anyway, the abortion people getting ignored is understandable. I mean, the anti-homosexuality idiots had hot and angry guys making out in front of them, and there's nothing that Americans surreptitiously enjoy more than homoeroticism. The banner itself has a bunch of references to various biblical laws, with the time-honored favorite of Leviticus 18:22 being the first. I've always found it cute how these people will yell about one old testament law until they're blue in the face while at the same time ignoring and violating a law that lives only a few lines away.

By the time I left, a group of passing students had formed a human wall in front of the banner while one of the fundies was yelling about wanting to vomit. I hear, though, that they make medication for nausea and stuff now. Maybe he should look into that.

(If anybody has pictures, send them in. My camera wasn't on me, and Cingular's picture phone service might as well be run by diseased carrier pigeon.)

Some of you may be wondering why we've been so silent as of late. The reason is relatively simple – nothing fucking happens at UCSD. Seriously, you people need to step up to the plate and actually do something. Then again, most of you bastards won't even fucking give blood when the goddamn van is off of Library Walk. It's just blood! You can just, y'know, make more!

Okay, here's the agreement. Every one of you is now charged with the sacred duty of actually living your lives. In return, we shall report on it if you're able to be the stuff of urban legend. The alternative is to fucking stay in your dorm rooms, playing Starcraft and hearing tell of these mysterious "par-ties" that your friends from other colleges speak of. This alternative also includes a higher frequency of angry ranting, but apparently some of you fucks get off on that.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've an alcohol fueled social scene to butterfly about.

Edit: Yes, I'm aware that the above text rambles a bit and isn't that polished or precise or whatever. To clarify for those of you who didn't read between the lines, the post was made while I was drinking heavily after having had a pint of blood sucked out of my body. Not really a state from which to expect incisive commentary, eh?

If you're as cheap as I am (try beating a $-3.67 balance on Triton Plus that will stay that way for a long, long time), then you don't like paying for things. Ever. This is why I like The Rasterbator.

Basically, this is a flash page that will take any image and enlarge it to any size you want in an easily printable layout. Want a (nearly) free poster? Get any image you want and rasterbate it. Bam, done. It's better than paying for those crappy, pricy print posters they continually try to push onto suckers every year around campus.

Lasers are awesome.

When seemingly retarded college freshmen are forced to write on a topic like lasers, the results are even more awesome.

But...what if a physics student stumbled upon a stack of the writing assignments and added his own smartass comments on them with red pencil?

Pure, lasertastic comedy, that's what.

Update: Many have noticed that the images on the original site have been removed "at the request of UT Austin's Student Judicial Services office." There is nothing, however, that can be recalled once released to the internet.

• The only extant mirror to be found.
• Our own little contribution, in case the first mirror is hammered out of existence.

Anyone who has been near Geisel in the past week has seen the 'crime scene' in front which recently saw the addition of a lovely sheet of plywood and a clever little chalk outline on the ground. The outline, of course, is a joke. Settle down, people. Some photos sent by a friendly reader are waiting for you beyond the jump.

Another nice reader who witnessed the accident in question sent us her harrowing story:

I was walking down the hill from Peterson just now when a skateboarder zoomed past. Of course she lost control—right into the mirrored windows of Geisel. She jumped off her skateboard in time to flatten herself against the window, MXC-style. Her skateboard continued right into the window, where it crashed into the glass. Be sure to walk by Geisel and look on the eastern side, where there is now a skateboard-sized hole and awesome spider-webbing.

The best part was that she pulled her skateboard out of the window, turned around to all the laughing/slightly shocked bystanders, and made a "shhh" sign with her finger. She then hopped back on and rode away.

Congratulations to her for completing the best skateboard scrub of my entire UCSD career.

As computer-savvy college students, everyone reading this should already know (and love) Craigslist. While you probably look for good deals on apartments, books and used furniture on those awesomely free classified ads, I'd like to suggest a new use: curing boredom.

See, Craigslist has a Personals section which is filled to its stinking brim with an endless supply of perverted, juvenile, desperate, hilarious or otherwise asinine pleas for companionship. Through the miracle of computers we can run search queries through this fetid cesspool and dredge up items of particular significance.

When I'm sitting in a boring class, I'll occasionally search for UCSD amongst the personals and see how well my classmates are pitching their wares. Assume that any entries with the suffix "pic" contain a crude photograph of someone's erect cock.

Here are some exemplary ones to get you started:

• I can't decide if I should weep or laugh


• Is this an awesome club or just a trap that ends in gang rape?


• Asian girls click here


• Hide your mothers!

What else should a student do when you're stuck on-campus on a Saturday? Mess around with the vending machines, of course! I read an article a while ago about using the debug menu on a Coke machine, so I figured I'd give it a shot. Try it out some time if you get a chance.

Just a notice: without opening the vending machine door, you CANNOT do things like get free sodas, etc. using the debug menu. Sorry.

Some images of it in action are below...

I noticed this sign in a window while walking through New Roosevelt the other day. The sign reads "Bush still totally sucks." (I'm well aware that both my camera phone and the glare leave something to be desired.) The sign can be seen to your left if you're heading north on the street that bisects ERC – I'm not sure of an exact location, but you're all college students, you can find it.

Update: One of our readers took the initiative and sent us a better image of the sign, an excerpt of which is below.

As usual, there was a line snaking out of the Registrar's office towards the sidewalk. People were jockeying for position while a small group of first-years stood to the side, clutching their add cards and trying to figure out if they were even at the right building. I spent about ten minutes waiting, which would have been more than reasonable if not for the fact that three out of five students didn't bother to complete their fucking add/drop cards. Almost everybody there had to be turned away for either missing the instructor's signature, or neglecting to have had the appropriate department stamp the card. I'd think those would be the first things they'd try – otherwise, what the hell's the point of using the card?

Either I'm getting crotchety in my old age or I'm just expecting too much of people.

Adam Sharki used to be a CSO at UCSD before he graduated. Now he's a rookie member of San Diego's police force and keeps a mildly amusing blog. If you think that CSO or RSO is on a power trip when he pours your beer out on Sun God, just wait until he's firing a few dozen pepperballs into your apartment and kicking in your door five years down the line.

Edit(1): Looks like the Xanga has been taken down. If anyone saved a local copy of it, let me know. There was some interested stuff to be read on there.

Edit(2): Looks like we weren't the only ones directing attention towards Sharki's blog. Hello Mefi users, you are super.

Edit(3): Even more attention. Too bad Sharki decided to take his Xanga down—his 15 minutes are still going strong.

Edit(4): Sharki posted a reply over at MetaFilter.

I passed by the blood drive the other day, and it's unfortunate how much UCSD students seem to not give a shit – I'm well aware that the idea of having your blood drained from your body is unnerving for many, but you can always make more of it for fuck's sake. It's not like goddamn oil, although that would make for a more interesting world. Imagine it, massive pools of ancient blood buried beneath the sands of the Middle East and Texas, having to pump type-O into your tricked out Civic, and massive blood spills off the coast of Alaska.

Ray Hengst sent us a well written letter he thinks the student body should read. Thanks, Ray. The majority of his warning can be seen after the jump, linked below.

I am writing to the campus community about the Lyndon Larouche political group, which has recently been tabling on Library Walk. Larouche uses a combination of philosophy, history, and polemics to argue for the existence of a worldwide conspiracy. I have had much experience in dealing with the Larouche group and would like to warn everyone: It is two-thirds cult and one-third political organization.

Come on, guys. I'm only pointing this out to keep you on your toes.
At least change it on your web site.

PS: Housing and Dining services still hates you.

I was having lunch with a friend today and half-joked about the Great Electoral War of 2004 when he said something that made me pause mid-bite. You see, this guy used to work with the National Guard, and still has some friends involved. It would appear that they've been placed on alert for the election, gear at the ready, in case of any "trouble." He might have been messing with me, but considering the rather fucked-up state of American politics I'm more likely than not to believe him. If anybody out there has any information either validating or refuting this, drop us a line. Lord knows it would put my mind at ease.

Maybe I'm being overly sensitive to abuse of the English language, but I'm at UCSD. Lord knows that UCSD students are anal-retentive about really nit-picky and minor things. Today I noticed this sign posted at the Subway down in Price Center. I almost pointed out the error to the cashier, but figured that she wouldn't really give a shit and only wanted to give me my change and keep the line moving. I wonder how long until somebody tries to pay with a 50, arguing that their sign says they'll accept it?

With more rain comes more damage. Reader Ad Absurdum wrote us with this swell anecdote:

Rain destroys on-campus apartments because they are made of cardboard. No matter how drunk you are, do not let maintenance investigate bubbles in your ceiling by poking them with a screwdriver. Water will gush out, you will need to rush a trashcan underneath it, and the crew will leave a dehumidifier, fan, and gaping hole in your apartment indefinitely. And yes, there are fucking sandbags behind the door. The apartments below are in much worse shape.

Included photos lurk beyond the jump.

An astute reader sent us a few shots of Southern California's version of 'hurricane damage' during the storms earlier this week. Is it just me, or do people completely lose their shit when water falls from the sky around here? It's bad enough that the drainage design is an embarrassment (every goddamn sidewalk, street and parking lot either turns into a massive puddle or a minor river), but why do people feel compelled to drive even more aggressively while the roads are slick with months of built-up oil? Secondly, why were all the freshman girls still wearing mini-skirts and Uggs?

Oh, that's right, because they're still reeling from high school.

More photos after the jump.

The weird obsession that some people have with our identities isn't entirely creepy, but only because it got me thinking about who's actually behind YouCSD.com. All the contact that we've had with the site's owners has been through a drop-point in a derelict downtown warehouse, so I decided to do what the kids call "hack-ing." In the process, I made a startling discovery! (The image links to a full screenshot.)

According to Google's tamper-proof password recovery system and my "hack-ing," we're owned and operated by Space Hitler! I wish I had known that before I signed on – Hitler isn't a good person to be associated with, Space Hitler doubly-so.

Maybe I won't be putting this site on my resume after all.

Isn't it awesome that random organizations send representatives to UCSD for the express purpose of harassing us? Boy, I sure think so. It's so boring when that creepy guy from my math class is the only person following me around all day.

Luckily, at the moment, we have two well-known groups getting all up in our shit: canvassers from the Democratic Party and Jews for Jesus. A far as I can tell the Jesus freaks are entirely mute; they just shove literature into your face and then walk away quickly (except their literature is disguised as a presidential ballot—WTF?) The Democrats are a bit more aggressive; they greet you, make eyes at you, and keep talking until they've roused enough emotion that you—and I'm quoting a real, live canvasser here—"contribute some goddamn money to get that goddamn son-of-a-Bush outta the White House. You got your checkbook with you?"

A couple photos after the jump.

…just think of the poor girl on MTV's Laguna Beach who just tearfully read her rejection letter from BYU in front of a camera that broadcast her humiliation to the entire country.

Not only is she Mormon (because BYU pretty much only exists to give Mormons a fun little place to live while they hide from the real world), but she's…well, not even worthy of going to fucking BYU. Seriously, I had no idea BYU rejected anyone, much less some girl from Laguna Beach who must be incredibly loaded because she made it onto a "reality" show on fuckin' MTV.

Just another nugget gained from the always-enlightening educational MTV, I guess.

YouCSD.com

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