It would appear that this isn't a good year for student employees of the University. We've been told that no less than five of the Housing Advisors from Muir College have either resigned or been fired for unbecoming conduct. According to what information we've become privy to, two of the HAs were intercepted by law enforcement while trying to drive a university-owned golf cart to the cliffs overlooking the beach. Both were fired. Word has it that another decided it would be a good idea to throw a Sun God party in his or her room – the party host was fired, and it's believed that two other HAs who were at the party ended up resigning. We'd be glad to receive any clarifications, confirmations, or information from people involved, especially those students in the dorms who were left without advisors in the last few weeks of the school year.

We procured an eye-witness description of the stabbing that occurred in line at Sungod. In true Ghetto Journalism style, here is the AIM conversation that landed in our inbox a couple days ago:

anonymous: i'm standing in line, and i see an argument about three people in front of me
anonymous: this one guy (call him tom) has tried to cut in line
anonymous: since the line is so obscenely long
anonymous: and this other guy (call him john) is pissed
anonymous: so, john starts yelling at tom
anonymous: tom yells back
anonymous: john shoves tom
anonymous: tom shoves john back
anonymous: much macho chest-to-chest posturing occurs
anonymous: then, john throws a blow
anonymous: a really sissy, weak, looping, would make anyone who actually knows how to fight cringe in disgust sort of blow
anonymous: tom throws a flurry of punches (of similar quality) back at john
anonymous: and then john stabs tom
anonymous: quickly, through tom's sweatshirt
anonymous: he stabs him in the upper chest, so it doesnt go in deep
anonymous: ribcage is in the way
anonymous: as far as stabbings go, really, its pretty weak
anonymous: tom's friends pull him away, and he leaves
anonymous: the crowd that had gathered to watch the fight disperses
anonymous: i advance in line
anonymous: few minutes later
anonymous: security is yelling
anonymous: trying to find tom
anonymous: tom comes up to the fence
anonymous: and says, "man, i just got stabbed"
anonymous: pretty nonchalant about it, though
anonymous: police take him away (for questioning and a ride to the hospital, i assume)

We'll leave it up to your judgment to ascertain the veracity of this story.

Some of you may be asking, "What stabbing?" Good question. The Guardian did not mention the incident in their long, monotonous Lights and Sirens, and has refrained from reporting it otherwise—despite knowledge of the scuffle. Anyone know why?

Some of you might not know who Brother Jed is, which is understandable. I don't think he's been to UCSD this year – when he does visit most people ignore him in the grand UCSD tradition. He'll usually be standing in the Price Center, telling people who are trying to enjoy their fast food that they'll be going to hell for their sins. Occasionally, he'll have some friends with him, followers who refer to themselves as Jed-Heads. His family is sometimes there, handing out flyers and pamphlets, and while I've yet to agree with anything I've ever heard him say, it's clear that he knows how to speak well in public. There's a rather significant problem, though, as evidenced by a recent visit he made to the University of Arizona.

Brother Jed is fucking insane. Why? Keep reading and find out.

Minor rumors have been floating around in circles concerning potential Associated Students presidential candidates in the upcoming spring quarter election. The rumors are trivial, since understandably, most UCSD students don't fucking care. Nonetheless, it is YouCSD.com's duty to provide these rumors a greater medium.

Currently, two of the major candidates testing the waters are AS VP Finance Kevin Hanson and AS Commissioner of Diversity Christopher Sweeten. Word is Kevin Hanson has already quietly and tacitly filled most of his cabinet positions under a greek, cultural org, athletic banner, making him the major slate presidential candidate in the upcoming election.

Christopher Sweeten, however, is eyeing an independent run. And he has only recently started laying the groundwork for spring quarter. It seems that even his supporters are worried about his progress and the viability of his potential campaign. But for now only time will tell.

Two other minor candidates...

During this year's All Cal Ski & Snowboard Fest, a student from UCR stabbed a student from UCSD, slicing his brachial artery and causing him to lose approximately 12 liters of blood (hint: the human body only holds 16). More info and anecdotes in the extended.

News articles can be found here, here and here, in chronological order.

One of our readers, let's call him Dan, pointed us to iscan.ucsd.edu, a rather strange page that shows up within the UCSD domain and contains nothing more than a Jolly Roger and the text, "Your actions are being monitored." It seems that this page and a sister-site, regscan.ucsd.edu, have been pinging computers and scanning them on port 137 several hundred times a day.

So what the hell does this all mean? While it would be totally fucking awesome if a rogue band of bloodthirsty yet tech-savyy pirates were scanning our computers in preparation for their unstoppable onslaught, the simplest answer is that ResNet is scanning for unpatched machines, or as they're known by most sysadmins, dirty virus-ridden whores. The Jolly Roger is probably just a surprise for anybody who notices the port scans, which is actually kind of a neat little touch when you think about it.

UPDATE: A sharp-eyed reader has informed us that it's not a Jolly Roger at iscan.ucsd.edu, but rather the flag of Calico Jack
Rackham. Thanks for the correction, friend. We salute you.

As hard as it may be believe, UCSD actually does have folklore that isn't invented on the spot by jaded campus tour-guides. (Did you know that the library is sinking? Really! They told me that during my orientation, so it must be true!) Construction during the first few decades of the university's life, for example, took place both above and below ground. These underground tunnels, running mostly underneath the western portion of campus, have occasionally been violated by students unable to find anything more goddamn worthwhile to do with their time than to be inevitably disciplined for trespassing on dangerous and private property.

YouCSD.com

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