We know that certain campus figures (who all look like they were home-schooled—you know who you are) have speculated as to who we are. Sometimes they have been wrong, and other times they have been completely wrong. Four of us are good and intoxicated in one room at the moment, so we thought we would publicly address the possibilities.

Carol Freire seems a likely candidate, and has been known to accept responsibility for the site, but she failed our literacy test. Does not write for YouCSD.

Jeremy Cogan is jerking off in the closet, but he does not write for YouCSD.

Joseph Watson fucking hates Marye Anne Fox. This site is his revenge. Writes for YouCSD.

Marye Anne Fox developed a cunning scheme to mobilize the campus population against the co-ops and Warren College Coke machines, thereby distracting everyone from the landfill being constructed in Pepper Canyon. Ingenious. Writes for YouCSD sdfio;78jsdfgosdig drunk.

The original point of this entry was to let you kids know that some of us are graduating, but the site will continue. We need new writers, and they will be you. Unless you were home-schooled. E-mail us with a one-page personal statement on your greatest accomplishment and most embarrassing moment. Also, fuck you.

Amy wrote YouCSD.com the following:

Sixth College is having its second annual All Campus Film Festival. Submissions are due April 28th by 4pm in the Sixth Admin. Office (2nd floor of Pepper Canyon Hall near Gilman). The film festival will be held on May 11th, 2005 from 7-10PM at the Price Center Theater. More info can be found at http://filmfestival.ucsd.edu.

Thanks, Amy.

Go fill out this form. It's fast and painless, and it's for a cause that is important to all of us college students.

The Governor's proposed budget for 2005-2006 threatens to balance the state's budget on the backs of students. Last year, the Governor entered into a compact with UC President Dynes to increase fees over the next three years by an average of 10% per year for undergraduates and an average of 20% for graduate and professional students. This year, the Governor's proposed budget also calls for a $17.3 million reduction to outreach and enrollment and a $3.8 million reduction to the labor studies centers.

The University of California Student Association is organizing a drive to collect 5000 postcards across the state. When we go to the Capitol on February 7 for our annual UC Student Lobby Day, we will deliver to the Governor a check of approximately $100 million dollars, which will represent the amount of debt he would pass onto students and working families with his proposed budgetary decisions.

So, being stationed in Iraq sucks. Crazy sucks. Short of dropping out and joining the military or perhaps even pasting a trite yellow ribbon to your car, what could a student such as yourself do to ease the discomfort of your less-than-college-bound peers in the Middle East?

AnySoldier.com provides soldier contacts, and you read through the names and select the ones you wish to support based on their lists of what they need and want. AnySoldier even has a search capability so you can easily identify specific needs and requests.

Although AnySoldier maintains that heartfelt letters from average Americans are comfort enough, they also suggest sending simple amenities such as razors, socks, t-shirts and sunscreen. You may even 'sponsor' pre-made care packages from a link provided in the What to Send section.

Here's where our cheeky slant comes in though: ladies, what says "Hang in there" better than boobs? You're just letting those naughty pillows sit there and gather dust when you could be putting them to good use! Send these poor kids some cheerful, nudie polaroids and I'm pretty sure you're guaranteed a seat in the heaven of your choice. You could even scrawl a message of your choosing right where it will have the undivided attention of every soldier who reads it. Perhaps something like "Please don't kill any more unarmed captives" is in order.

Hello there, weary internet traveler. If you're a regular visitor (like Jeremy Cogan), you may have noticed that we've been a bit spotty with our posts as of late. I'd like to apologize for that, and offer you this simple explanation: none of us have been even a shade sober since election night. I'm doing a bit better now (although I can't speak for my collaborators), and with a bit of luck you should see a steadier stream of vitriol in the future. I've got a big project due on Friday, and this wacky 'blog' shit has proven time and time again to be the perfect venue for all the procrastination my twisted work ethic can cook up.

Thank you to those who have signed up with TypeKey and begun to leave comments here and there—your idle chatter has softened our silence like the crickets on so many cliché cartoon soundtracks. Keep it up, especially those of you who don't take yourselves too seriously.

As is my routine now, I'm going to spend a couple sentences soliciting reader submissions. I'm waiting on firmer details regarding a couple rather newsworthy events (check your email, jerks), but I want to hear more reports of the mundane aspects of student life. Have you recently attended an embarrassingly bad frat party? Tell us! Let's make them earn those asinine, faux-liquor label t-shirts and hold them to a higher standard. Did you catch an elected AS official as he or she pried their underwear out of their ass? Let's have a giggle at their expense!

Now, I'm not saying I want my inbox flooded with stuff like "loooolz ur gonna luv this!!!!1 i saw sum girl with big tits on lirbary walk drop her books an when she tryed to pick them up her thong wuz showin!!!1@" You're in college, I know you can do better. Give any details you can, and tell a story. Hell, if you impress us on more than one occasion we might ask you to become an official YouCSD author. How rad would that be? Let me tell you: super rad.

Okay, time to look at internet pornography until I'm hard enough to rub one out on the drive to campus.

Amy Ma wrote us a few days back asking that we publicize her efforts to have a skate park built somewhere on campus. I would have gotten around to posting this sooner had I not been dealing with the torrential media shitstorm surrounding our crappy little blog. Seriously, don't you mouth-breathing fuckwits have something better to do than clumsily investigate our identities—say, for instance, rallying for the co-ops?

While I loathe the predictable batch of freshmen who show up each year and immediately buy a longboard to match the new Sum 41 t-shirt that Mommy bought for them at Hot Topic, I support the construction of a modest skate park. Why? Well, I'd rather have Johnny Dormroom wipe out in a contained area full of other amateurs instead of crashing into me as I prance down library walk. I imagine such a park as a crucible, accelerating the period between purchase and defeat. The sooner these kids toss their boards into long term storage the better, and in the mean time we could derive some entertainment from their misery by putting bleachers around the park for the callous spectators like myself.

Oh, but I jest. Amy has already pitched her idea to Chancellor Fox and is currently gathering signatures for a petition to show campus administration that she means business. For details on this petition, venture past the jump.

As classes begin, don't be seen toting a shameful yellow UCSD Bookstore bag. The bookstore has rip-off prices and it's pointless to buy books before your classes even begin (you're going to add and drop classes and not crack any of your books until midterms hit, anyway).

Buying books is what Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, and Borders are for. Used, discounted books are available on Amazon if you're a cheapskate, and they'll get delivered to your door, saving you the embarrassment of lugging five overpriced calculus books across campus. Please, save your pride (and your money). Book it to Amazon, pronto.

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